September 4, 2009

What I'll be missing: III

A bit bout my experience in the plane, as soon as it touched down (KLIA), and the passengers were ready to get their luggage in the storage cabin above head to get out, well I witnessed something that made me ponder.

There was this one young lady, sitting in front of me, and like others, she wanted to take out her bag from the cabin. Her bag seemed to be big n heavy, but she managed to pull it out by herself. And the young malay man, who was beside her, juz watched her, din't even lend a hand to help her. So not gentleman. Tho he juz got back from UK as well, but din't he learn anything bout being gentleman?? Duhh.. And when it was my turn to pull my things from the cabin, he also juz stood and watched. Hampeh tol..

I dunno why I felt 'hampa', maybe because all this while I had been pampered by those white guys that ALWAYS helped me to take my things from upper cabin; most of the time, they took it out without me asking for help, coz they know someone must want to get them anyway..

Back to the plane story, as people were queuing to walk out of the plane, I was actually taking some time, coz I din't wana stuck in the long Q. But as soon as I stand up, the white guy who was near the Q stopped walking and allowed me to get in the line before him. I smiled and thanked him, his action juz healed my frustation over that malay guy.

It's not that I'm judging malaysian guys, but this one thing I will miss it (since it is not always available back home) : the gentleman-ness of the men. Generally, most men in UK are always being gentlemen to ladies. I dunno if they really prefer 'ladies first' concept, but sharing my experience, if they really want ladies to go first, as in queuing to get in the bus or getting inside a room or something, if they want you ladies to go first, my advice is JUST GO. Coz you won't win that situation even tho you don't mind if they go first.

And this also applies to most Malaysian guys in UK. So, if you meet with any of them, but they happen to be not-so-gentlemen, then you are so unlucky - that species is very rare. At my very early times, it was so awkward to me and I kept wondering why they have to treat us ladies that way. But later on I realised that they are just practising manners with ladies, and I really appreciate them. No loss on their side, but I think they are more respectable that way.

This is not including the part where they (most guys) always hold the door for me to get through when I was behind them, sometimes they let me walk through first before them. Terharu. Appreciated. (coz I normally a bit lazy to hold the door longer, only juz for a while).

What are other examples? Too many to say I guess, but I really like it. I like it when men do some goodness to you, without expecting anything in return. Keikhlasan. Keikhlasan that I feel quite hard to get in Msia, when most men do some goodness to you / help you but expecting something in return. Buat baik yang ada makna. Takde makna mmg tak sah. Mesti ada macam, "terima kasih je ke?", "kene blanje nih", or nk berkenalan la pulak kan.. plg koman pon mesti dh start perasan or pandang pelik..huh..

Mcm mamat spain yg gua cerita dlm post pasal Spain tu, beriya2 die nk tlg gua, tp takde pon nk lebih2 mcm mitak no tepon ke ape. Lepas dah tolong, abes kt situ je la kan. Kan best. Nmpk sgt ikhlas. Mcm mase turun tangga kt stesen underground, bile tgk angkat beg berat nak mampos turun tangga, ade je org nk tolong - well biasanya laki la kan.

I guess I must be expecting the guys here will pamper me as well - and I'll end up frustated?? Manjakah aku..or juz hoping them to be more gentlemen? Hee..I prefer the 2nd one...


Rynn said...

betul! coudn't agree more la.. lelaki msia mmg kureng gentlemen.. satu lagi aku rasa ko lupa nk cite.. pasal cara dorang drive.. dorang akan kasi kita masuk lorong senang2 je.. or when kita nk lintas jalan.. dorang akan benti.. kat msia, 1 dlm 1000 la ko nk cari camtu.. kalo nmpak kita nk kuar or masuk lorong, lagi dorang rapat2 kan keta ada la.. i'm missing the gentlemen-ness di UK juge~

AsyAnis said...

klu cik rozzairin yg comel lote ni nk lintas jalan pon susah, lagikan aku ni haa..mmg susah gler nk lintas jalan *sedeynye*
ade skali tu aku try tahan ngan tahan kete ni mase lintas sbb aku stuck kt tgh2 jalan, driver laki tu mcm angguk2, igtkan die kasik lintas, padahal die trus je drive menonong..aduhhh

Anonymous said...

Try asking for help, there'll be plenty of them guys more than happy to help you then. It kinda work differently here, most girls do not like to be helped, because they thought that men only help so they can get under your skirt. So we men of good will ceased to exist in public, afraid of being misunderstood by our very gentleman nature.

AsyAnis said...

well ur comment does make sense, man of good. maybe u guys see that most ladies are too independent, but we actually really appreciate gentlemen-ness ^^

Anonymous said...

It's man of good will, actually ;P

You'll be surprised how many ladies really appreciate gentleman.

Most of them took it for granted.

AsyAnis said...

anyhow, being gentleman is to offer first, not being asked first..kan..

tp undeniably women here will assume they are trying to 'menggatal', sbb slalu sengih2 dan pandang pelik..i mean not-so-honest look. so we ladies will normally say, "oh takpe2.." sbb kurang yakin dgn ke-gentleman-an itu..