What I’ll be missing: the last part

The truth is, I don’t really feel like missing UK at the moment. Maybe after some years? Currently I’m enjoying my time in Msia, so why should I miss something else?One week before I got back, my heart was already in Msia, I was only physically in UK, thus parting from people over there didn’t really sadden me. It has been almost a month since I got back, and had a blast eid for the whole last week. Celebrating eid that had lost its feel since last 3 years..and last week it had been awakened again and I’m so grateful.

Anyway, I know I would still miss some other things:

*wonderful Msian families in Bradford and their lovely kids, especially the ones that blend well with me

*catching a train or bus to get somewhere easily, no matter how near or far. I really miss and need this excellent public transport system. It makes anyone can go anywhere, but in Msia, without a car, you just can go nowhere. Public transport? No comment. Only LRT, Putra, KTM Komuter and ERL would make me think less about safety and convenience.

*carrying my handbag anywhere without any worries. But in Msia, I can only feel secure if I use a sling bag. So when can I use my handbag? I dunno. Only when I think it is safe for me to walk around with it, without the chance of it being snatched by any scumbag and get myself injured afterwards, or even die, just like any other victims (naudzubillah).

*fast speed internet!!! Why is my streamyx is sooo lousy?? Currently it is so unstable that it disconnects itself anytime it likes it (and frustrates me). This is truly berukband. Even in CC.

*Entahlah.

Maybe I shouldn’t miss UK that much. Plus, I’m enjoying my life in Msia now, with its pros and cons. I’ve made my decision to be here and my future is also here. Here in my home.

What I'll be missing: III

A bit bout my experience in the plane, as soon as it touched down (KLIA), and the passengers were ready to get their luggage in the storage cabin above head to get out, well I witnessed something that made me ponder.

There was this one young lady, sitting in front of me, and like others, she wanted to take out her bag from the cabin. Her bag seemed to be big n heavy, but she managed to pull it out by herself. And the young malay man, who was beside her, juz watched her, din't even lend a hand to help her. So not gentleman. Tho he juz got back from UK as well, but din't he learn anything bout being gentleman?? Duhh.. And when it was my turn to pull my things from the cabin, he also juz stood and watched. Hampeh tol..

I dunno why I felt 'hampa', maybe because all this while I had been pampered by those white guys that ALWAYS helped me to take my things from upper cabin; most of the time, they took it out without me asking for help, coz they know someone must want to get them anyway..

Back to the plane story, as people were queuing to walk out of the plane, I was actually taking some time, coz I din't wana stuck in the long Q. But as soon as I stand up, the white guy who was near the Q stopped walking and allowed me to get in the line before him. I smiled and thanked him, his action juz healed my frustation over that malay guy.

It's not that I'm judging malaysian guys, but this one thing I will miss it (since it is not always available back home) : the gentleman-ness of the men. Generally, most men in UK are always being gentlemen to ladies. I dunno if they really prefer 'ladies first' concept, but sharing my experience, if they really want ladies to go first, as in queuing to get in the bus or getting inside a room or something, if they want you ladies to go first, my advice is JUST GO. Coz you won't win that situation even tho you don't mind if they go first.

And this also applies to most Malaysian guys in UK. So, if you meet with any of them, but they happen to be not-so-gentlemen, then you are so unlucky - that species is very rare. At my very early times, it was so awkward to me and I kept wondering why they have to treat us ladies that way. But later on I realised that they are just practising manners with ladies, and I really appreciate them. No loss on their side, but I think they are more respectable that way.

This is not including the part where they (most guys) always hold the door for me to get through when I was behind them, sometimes they let me walk through first before them. Terharu. Appreciated. (coz I normally a bit lazy to hold the door longer, only juz for a while).

What are other examples? Too many to say I guess, but I really like it. I like it when men do some goodness to you, without expecting anything in return. Keikhlasan. Keikhlasan that I feel quite hard to get in Msia, when most men do some goodness to you / help you but expecting something in return. Buat baik yang ada makna. Takde makna mmg tak sah. Mesti ada macam, "terima kasih je ke?", "kene blanje nih", or nk berkenalan la pulak kan.. plg koman pon mesti dh start perasan or pandang pelik..huh..

Mcm mamat spain yg gua cerita dlm post pasal Spain tu, beriya2 die nk tlg gua, tp takde pon nk lebih2 mcm mitak no tepon ke ape. Lepas dah tolong, abes kt situ je la kan. Kan best. Nmpk sgt ikhlas. Mcm mase turun tangga kt stesen underground, bile tgk angkat beg berat nak mampos turun tangga, ade je org nk tolong - well biasanya laki la kan.

I guess I must be expecting the guys here will pamper me as well - and I'll end up frustated?? Manjakah aku..or juz hoping them to be more gentlemen? Hee..I prefer the 2nd one...

What I'll be missing: II

I was browsing through my old photos, and found some photos of me with the winter clothes..
*Winter coats
*Maffler
*Gloves
*Boots

Ohh..i think I'll be missing wearing them. Even though sometimes they were like a weight to carry on the body during cold/freezing times, but back in my humid and hot homecountry, I won't be using them anymore.

Amsterdam, April 2008

Unless..I wanna catchup with the latest trend, such as wearing maffler despite the hot weather..(what?) Yeah recently I think they are really in the fashion. But I don't think I can do that. I can't even put on double layer of clothes everytime I go back home. I'll sweat and I don't like that. And I always wonder why some Malaysians can do that..maffler around the neck, gloves some more..boots - I really wanna walk in my boots back in Malaysia, but I'm worried my feet will be flooding with sweat. And as for winter coats, they ARE really in trend right now (?) since a lot of gorgeous coats are sold by most women's stores..and I wonder again..

No offense eh..if u not travelling to any winter countries, when are you gonna experience wearing them? haha wutever..It's good if u can accommodate to hot weather even by wearing layers..

Ohh can't wait to go back and put on my baju kurung and kebaya..
-since it's always windy here, I don't feel practical wearing them regularly.

No pain no gain in Spain

I juz got back from Spain yesterday, after being a tourist guide to my cousin's family. Well, the truth was, I was being a tourist guide to a place I had never been before! Haha..and what made it more interesting, this time I was travelling sehelai sepinggang. Ade la duit poket sikit (tu pon duit hutang) and tket flight n hotel pon hutang jugak..mamma mia...

Nothing much to say here about the trip; I'll update later. Juz to share some sweet n sour experience while we were in Malaga, before departing to Granada. While we were waiting for the bus to Granada at the Estacion de Autobuses de Malaga (Malaga Bus Station), I was charging my camera battery in the toilet. At the beginning, I was waiting in the toilet. But then, I had to get my flip flop from them to perform ablution. I felt so lazy to unplug the charger and bring it outside and then get into the toilet again. Since I was thinking, if there were anyone (too stupid and mean) to steal it, it could be of not much use since it was just a battery, not even a camera.

Then I left it there, when nobody was in the toilet, and when I got to them (around 40m from toilet), they were asking me for qiblah direction. I was feeling worried since this was gonna buy me some time leaving the charger alone, but then I tried to use the compass quickly to find the qiblah. Then I got back to toilet quickly (after 2-3 minutes I guess) and tadaa..there was nothing on the plug!! My battery + charger + europe adaptor = all GONE!

Panjangnye citer..dipendekkan citer, camtu la..i think someone had just stolen it, in a nick of time..and he/she (should be she since it was a ladies toilet) could be planning on selling those items in black market (wutever!). Nothing much I could do. Once it's gone, it's gone.

I really couldn't say anything, I wasn't careless since I left them with my willingness and confidence. But, it happened. And all I could do was redha je la..I had no idea why I was so calm, but could be due to so many things I had to be patient of before, till I got no more upset feelings to spare for this sour experience.
NO PAIN.

Since that moment, my camera had stopped snapping photos :(

The sweet thing about it was that, there was this one fine Spanish guy that was really keen on helping me and felt really sorry for it (hehe). Well, he was helping me to translate my case to the security guard (since most Spanish don't speak English). But the guard couldn't help that much since no one had reported any missing item to him. And coincidentally, we were heading to Granada in the same bus.

I took some time to have a conversation with him at the Estacion de Autobuses De Granada. Found out that he was on his way to his campus somewhere 3 hours away from Granada. That explained why he could speak English - he's in univ/college doing art. Well his name was pronounced as Ghondia (I'm sure this spelling is wrong) and back to the missing item, he did ask at the information counter as well but no hope. At least, it did heal a bit to meet some decent bloke in Spain right? ;) He even suddenly popped out to offer help when we were getting into taxi (after we already left each other) but I said I already had the hotel's address.. =)
So that was when I last talked to him. Mucho gusto encantando!

On our last day in Spain, we headed back to Malaga bus station from Cordoba. Once again, I did try my chance looking for my missing items, but that left me in vain. It was like 4 days ago that I lost them and no chance of recovering them now.
NO GAIN.

My camera had not been functioning (without a battery) since then.

Now I'm back in UK, I got my spare battery, but still I need to look for the charger. All the best for me yea!

This was the last photo taken from my camera, before the battery went dead (and lost). This up on the hill scene was taken from Castillo de Gilbrafaro, Malaga.

What I'll be missing: I

Things change. I've changed to a more mature and tougher person. Well, life gets tougher, so do I eh? And now, it is the time for big changes in my life. My journey in UK will be terminated not long from now, after I first landed here in September 2006. So, many things will end here for me.. And these ends mean big changes for me; I will no longer have them. And I know I will miss them. And as usual, we have to adapt to changes. And I'm recording them here so that I won't forget them in my busy future.

*****************************
*First thing I want to record here, is what I am currently losing. I am currently losing my dear friends in UK - my fightingmates (teman seperjuangan). I'm losing them to Malaysia, they are leaving UK as their business here have finished, well some of them already in Msia. Well, even though I can still contact them, it feels so different now since they are not here in UK. In a way, I feel so alone here, since I'm still taking my time to go back home. The change is that, they are no longer here. I feel like I'm without my comrades to finish my last battle here.

-No more hanging out in UK with my girls
-No more long calls on the phone using our free minutes
-No more long chat in ym, buzzing, gossiping, pasting links and sharing photos

Holland, Spring 2008

I guess I'm just making it sound worst. The fact is, I still have other friends here, and Malaysian families that are so caring about me.

Summer 2009

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer's lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest:

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

- SONNET 18

Keukenhof, Netherlands 2008

--

Mulakan hari anda dengan breakfast

vv
Hari ni aku brekpes dgn cereal Weetos and Honey Shreddies. Hakikatnya jam telah menunjukkan pukul 2.40pm, dan waktu zuhur dah lame masuk tadi bagi kawasan aku dan yg sama waktu dengannya. biasa la tu, hobi aku shift waktu dunia; dah tido pon waktu siang, malam br nk bwat keje, inikan breakfast yg di-shift ke waktu lunch.

Tadi aku tiba2 terkenangkan cereal2 kt Msia yg aku sniri pon jarang buat brekpes. Selalunya makan bwt kunyah2 suka2 ati la mase bila2 pon kan. Koko Crunch, Honey Star, Corn Flakes, Kellogs Frosties, Trix (my feveret!) dan yg len2 seangkatan dgnnye. Yg len2 tu x igt la sbb x berapa feveret.


Aku rase nnt aku akan terkenangkan cereal2 yg sgt close attachement nye dgn aku kt cni. Weetabix Chocolate (feveret), Weetos, Shreddies, Honey Nut Corn Flakes, Snow Flakes n yg len2 yg x mudah didapati di semua tempat.


In fact, post ni pon aku type sambil menghabiskan cereal aku utk brekpes kali ni...

Spring is coming!!

Spring is coming and I feel sooooo happy and excited!! :) :) :)

"An optimist is the human personification of spring"

Hmm..
I wish to bloom gracefully like the flowers, in so many colours
I wish to shine brightly like the sun, rays of light that lighten up gloomy Britain


Every time I walk outdoor in spring
I can feel the flowery breeze
I can breathe in fresh and alive air
I can feel my spirit is jumping all over

And, the best thing is to share this happy feeling with everyone else that have been longing for spring..

I ♥ spring


Bye2 winter

Kalau aku jadi salji

Kalau aku salji
Kecik je aku
Lagi kecik dari salji yg org bwat pakai polistrin
Kadang2 besar jgk
Macam kepingan corn flakes
Jatuh dari langit
Tapi banyak sangat
Pastu ramai orang rasa happy
Tengok aku turun dari langit, tak henti2


Bila aku turun makin lebat
Orang2 susah nak jalan sebab aku sampai masuk dalam mata dorang
Tapi macam orang yang kumpul ramai2 tu
Nampak happy sangat
Gumpal2 aku pastu baling kat member2 dorang
Ada yang gumpal besar giler
Pastu dorang bwat maskot aku, Snowman
Tak tahula kenapa takde pulak Snowwoman
Ada yang buat rama2 bila dorang baring kat snowbed

Pastu semua tempat jadi putih
Nampak suci sangat, cantik
Orang pun sibuk ambil gambar

Bestnye kalau aku jadi salji
Semua orang bergembira bila aku turun..


Tapi kalau aku turun lama sangat
Ada jugak orang susah hati
Susah nak jalan, susah nak bawak kereta
Kadang2 sampai sekolah cuti
Ada yang tak dapat pergi kerja
Ada yang kena frostbite, sakit sebab sejuk membeku
Dan macam2 lagi la

Aduhh kesian pulak kat dorang
Terus rasa tak suka kenapa aku turun
Nak buat macam mana
Bila sampai masa, aku akan turun jugak..

Memutihkan muka bumi dan meresapkan kedinginan kepada makhluk2 bumi


Snow across the UK as on BBC 2/2/2009

And here I am... -home-

This is my 2^nd nite I’ve woken up at nite, after sleeping for few hours. Jetlag. Still. But I love the atmosphere. Feels so home :)

Before I came back home, I had been spending nights with so many different people.

Malam-malam kita berbeza. Ada yang begitu. Ada yang begini.

*************

I spent few nights at Dr.Hady’s house in Leeds. He and his wife had gone to Mecca for Hajj. Mak Long was the caretaker for their 2 kids, 4 year old Ammar and almost a year Khadeeja. Mak Long was accompanied by her 2 nieces.

That nite when I came to their house, Ammar was so excited to see me. “Kakak Anis! Kakak Anis!” He shouted excitedly when I was outside knocking on the door. When I got in, he jumped happily while hugging my legs. Felt so touched.. At least I could make him happy 4 a while, while his parents were away. Probably he felt lonely being left. Sepi tanpa Ayah dan Mama. Even tho he had the caretakers around him.

Baby Khadeeja was almost recovering from chicken pox. There were juz scars or the scabs on her body. She was so adorable. Happy and not so hard to be taken cared of. I was always wondering how Mak Long would take care of a baby who was still breastfeeding, n now apart from the mum. Luckily she was not that problematic, n adapting well.

It was only few nights that time, had to go back to Bradford. And as Mak Long said, Ammar could not handle goodbye n tends to ignore people that gonna leave him. Guess they don’t feel sepi anymore, their parents were back days ago.

*************

I spent few nights at Kak B’s house before going back to Malaysia. She lives with her boy Irsyad, 5. I remember last time when I was bout to go back, Irsyad was crying and not allowing me to go. I felt so bad.. Coz he felt lonely playing toys and watching tv all by himself, while her mum studying. Even tho I was juz there to watch him watched tv n played toys, it did make him feel better. When I was trying to have a nap, he woke me up so that I stayed awake to accompany him. I had to agree with him to go back and do my work and come back again that night. And yes, I was juz saying it to persuade him. I only came back the next week.

And as for Kak B, I respect her for enduring everything since they two started to live in UK few months ago. It is hard for her to go through everything without her hubby at her side. But she always motivates herself that they have made the decision, to live with Irsyad in Bradford while doing her PhD, while husband in Malaysia. Sepi. But time will heal. I’m glad that sometimes I can accompany them, to make their home less lonely. At least.

**************

I live with my roomie Hebe, in Bradford, in a studio. As for her, she’s back in Singapore for Xmas hols, nothing much for her in Bradford. Meeting her bf there will erase all lonely feelings that she feels in UK.

As for myself, I knew I was gonna feel lonely, especially when Hebe back in Singapore. I used to live on my own when I was in 1^st year, I lived without any close friends in halls n I survived that. But lately, I juz couldn’t stand it and I really really missed home. I really wanted to meet my parents, stay at home peacefully, away from the coldness of freezing winter in UK and layers of clothing. I juz didn’t feel happy in UK that time (probably winter depression) and really had to be in a place that I would feel belong to.

Only papa n mama at home. Any1 can guess how they feel. 1 sister at work in Kemaman, 2 sisters n post-SPM brother in KL. Only Bobo, their white cat at home to accompany them.

And sepi brought me home…